Introducing You, to Me and My Brain

The purpose of this Blog is to share with you my life story of divorce, a broken family unit, the loss of a parent, the men who were my saving grace, the lessons I have learned as a result and how to set goals and believe in yourself for the purpose of growth that some might gain from this writing.  For each blog there will be a link to my YouTube page for further insight on each post.

YouTube:  Introducing FINDING A FATHER

Here we go!

Introducing You, to Me and My Brain

My name is Mason Burks Wooldridge, I include my middle name because it’s my Granny’s family name and she will definitely smile when she sees it in here.

As I write this I’m currently a twenty-nine year old man and yes, I still worry about what my grandmother thinks of me!

I was born on the first of August, nineteen-eighty-four, in Baltimore, Maryland, at Saint Mary’s Hospital and I was a large baby at eight pounds and ten ounces.

Like most kids in America, I grew up in a pretty normal household.  Both of my parents worked, my father held different jobs during my early years and my mother was mostly an active nurse.

I’ll save you the boring details about how cute of a baby I was, how I was an early walker, and about how I talked at an early age; for all of our sake we’ll jump straight to where I am currently while writing this blog.

I’m twenty-nine years young and I’m still cute, a fast learner, and the owner of a great jump-shot. 

I think it’s safe to say that I have a high opinion of myself and hopefully throughout this blog you’ll understand why and you too will learn to love yourself like I do my own being.  There is one thing I have to state before moving any farther: In order to love anyone else, you must first learn to love yourself, and be proud of who you are and how that relates to everyone around you; for any progress to be made in the self-improvement landscape you have to know just who it is that's taking the first step.

The truth of life for me is that Love is the only thing there is guiding this big and beautiful universe.  If you adhere to the teachings of many of the world’s greatest religions you have been taught that there are warring parties that are vying for your soul, but I beg to differ.  Let’s say for instance you’re a Christian and you believe in God and the Devil, and you have been taught to believe that God created everyone out of pure love but the devil has been given free range over the Earth, to turn as many of us as possible into sinners, and to aid in the devil’s effort we’re also supposed to just digest that we’re born into sin from the beginning.  Wrong! Already we find ourselves at a cross road in trying to understand who it is we are and what we believe.  If you truly believe in an all-powerful God, one that it omnipresent and all-knowing, then it doesn’t jive well with the argument that the devil is waiting around the corner to trick you into sinning away your soul - Bear with me for just a second and we’ll get back to meaning for this opening thought - If you believe there is a God and that he/she created you and knew all that was in store for you and loved you as he/she loves him/herself, then why would he/she ever put us in a situation that would lead us anywhere then back to the source when it’s all said and done?  God did not create one thing and not the next, God does not have his hand on the wheel only some of the time, she has her hand on the wheel all of the time.  The truth of the matter is, grace is not something we earn by saying a vow or by doing good works, it’s something that was given to everyone on this planet and beyond, simply by the act of being born.  Love is not earned by the acts of our hands, it’s fostered and given away freely by simply being able to use our hands.  There is no evil being roaming the planet trying to steal you away from God, because if there was, that means God created you and me without ever really loving us in the first place.  We don’t earn the Creator’s love; we are the Creator’s love.  And if God did create us only for our souls to potentially burn in the fiery pits of hell, then Love was not present as the basis of our creation, and if love was not present then, God, was not present.

Throughout this entire blog I plan on throwing out ideas like this to get you thinking.  That’s why we’re here on this earth, too think, then act on what we’ve been thinking about.  In fact, the entirety of life is built around this cycle of thinking from it spawns creation; all we do is bound by creation and found tied to it; so start thinking about things: 

First, there’s a thought about something or someone, our perception of that initial thought comes from our surroundings and our upbringing, we’re conditioned to think certain ways because we are a product at times of the environment we grew up in.  The beautiful thing though is every thought that enters our brain can be altered to fit the model of the world we’re living in or desire to live within.  We’re not slaves as adults to the thoughts of our youth; we’re only slaves to our current thoughts if we choose not to change the environment that sponsors these thoughts. 

So, first we see we have the thought, next comes the action.  Some believe it’s a three stage process, thought then word then the deed, this idea works as well but can be shown as flawed - for after every thought we must take action to say our intention out loud, but you don’t always have to say your thought to make it a reality.  If I think I want a steak for dinner I don’t need to tell anyone, I only need to go get a steak from the freezer and cook it.  So I beg to differ that we need thought then word then action for the process of creation to take place.  I think the meshing of both ideals can work perfectly in the creation process. 

Those that would argue against the point I just made would say that the word portion of creation is essential when you want to change who you are or your circumstances.  But I would argue that point as well from a different angle because if I decide I want to be a batter person I don’t need to say out loud “I want to be a better person,” I simply set out a new path for myself to follow and then walk it (but at some point our words will naturally change).  The expression “actions speak louder than words” comes to mind to help illustrate my thinking here.

All of life is based around the fact that we all have a choice to be who we want to be, where we want to be, and to what degree we want to be anything.  All of life is part of this creation process.  In every situation we have a choice, the very fact that we are in any situation to start with is because of a choice we made prior to arriving at our present destination.  I believe we even choose before coming back to this life where in the world we want to be, and for each person that’s as different as how you take your coffee in the morning; consequently this is one way of explaining our inherent similarities even within our endless differences. 

My point in going off on this tangent was to show that no matter where life takes you, no matter what horrible circumstances you find yourself in you can choose to be or to do something else.  Make no mistake when I say this, choices do not always lead to success or happiness, and sometimes choices are downright hard to make, but because we have some sort of a choice in all matters, we have the ability to change our circumstances or how we intend to view them.  Even life on this earth is a choice, and one you can decide to end if you so choose, and it’s not up to me to judge that choice, although I would strongly urge you to reconsider self-harm because maybe you haven’t realized yet that you actually do have other options.  So if we have the semi-choice to die when we want, why would we also not have the choice to live when we want?

So as I sit here as a twenty-nine year old college graduate, former teacher, former div. 1 athlete, as I sit here being a brother and a cousin, a nephew and a son, all those things considered, I still sit here with a choice whether to write these thoughts down or not.  This blog will take some time to complete and I could just as easily decide I don’t want to do it; I’d rather watch a movie or decide my life has been too hard and I just don’t feel like it… but what if these words save a life? Or keep a family together? Or better yet, start a revolution of love and freedom? 

I’m not saying they’ll do any of that, but what if they could one day and I chose not to write them because at twenty-nine I allowed fear to motivate my intentions, and forgot love was all there really was in this world.  We don’t know to what degree our words and deeds will inspire, we only have our motivation going in to our actions – our intentions - and if you can take an honest look into your motivation and make choices based on the best possible outcome, then I can live with the idea that someday these words could unite a family, save a marriage, or even start a movement towards more love on a world-wide scale.  If you dream small you will have small results. 

What you wish to have for yourself you need to give to another; if you want more love in your life, give more love.  Dissect your motivations and you’ll start to better understand why you find yourself in your present environment.

The day I realized that love was all there really was in this world was the day I was able to truly love myself for the first time.  That day changed my life forever because I realized I was worthy of love, and consequently knew everyone else was worthy of this beautiful gift of love as well.  There’s unity in understanding this principal, there’s strength in acknowledging your self-worth and that of others, and what you’ll find once you do is that tolerance for others becomes the normal and that grace and the gift to make choices without supreme judgment from the creator go hand in hand. 

Many of you are probably saying to yourself, “yeah well, what about all of the bad stuff that happens in this world?” and my rebuttal would be: why does it have to happen?  We have chosen as people in this world to let it happen to an extent… that’s why!  Famine, disease, violence, the list goes on and on…  all of the world’s problems could be solved if we just understood the basic principle of life that Love is all there is and there’s enough to go around.  Those who commit crimes have made the choice that best fits their needs at the time.  Those who oppress the poor and needy have decided and made the choice to do so because along the way somewhere they were not properly cared for.  This lack of care can lead to fear and fear can be a strong motivator.  But if you believe everything boils down to this idea of love being all there really is then you know fear is only an illusion, which means it’s something that can be overcome with a different perspective. 

Fear is not an essential part of life; be careful not confuse fear with caution.  When we were children did we not reach for the hot eye on a stove?  We did so because we didn’t have fear in our hearts; there was no sign of fear in our hand reaching for the flame… Fear became real when our parents or providers quickly ran to our aid and yelled at us never to touch the stove top again.  What’s the worst that would have happened if we touched it?  We would have burned our finger and decided not to touch it again on our own, lesson learned… caution instead of fear.  Fear was introduced early in our lives as a means of control.  Parents I beg you, help your children learn life’s lessons in an open and loving way.  Be open to your children making mistakes and be there for them when they need guidance, but be there with love as the motivator so fear will not dominate their life.  Fear not that you will say or do the wrong thing, move with love as a guide and it won’t matter how you say or do things to your children, it will be a blessing that you simply do.

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I’ve lived all over the place, mainly in the United States but also abroad.  I went to a private, military boarding school called Fork Union Military Academy, throughout middle and high school, along with a post-graduate year for the purpose of getting a basketball scholarship.  I was only able to attend the school because my father died when I was eleven and his social security paid for my education.  My parents divorced when I was seven and both re-married when I was nine.  The majority of this book is based around me looking back, now as an adult, as to why everything happened how it did and who the key players were along the way.  I graduated from college with a degree in religious studies, which should be better described as world religions.  I was a rare student to the degree not that I was a genius or the most efficient note taker, but I was a rare student because I enjoyed learning and still do today.  I must have switched majors five times before the last one stuck.  As a young college student I had the desire to be a preacher at times and thought about life post undergrad in seminary, but that always seemed to take a back seat to other desires because I knew deep down that I didn’t believe in a lot of the gospel that I grew up in church learning. 

When I came across other religions in my studies I found common denominators in most and it struck me as strange that I had been told my whole life that my salvation was only found in one way and through one source, but now I see so many others out there who see life through so many different eyes.  I allowed myself to be open to the teachings of great philosophers from all over the world and I began to understand that most of religion was inspired by loving intent but over time became diluted by the fear that people wouldn’t believe what they believe and thusly they would lose control of the masses.  So religion a lot of times, over time, have gotten away from their roots of love and acceptance and instead have been replaced with hell-fire and condemnation if you waiver from the mainstream belief structures.  In short, if you don’t believe what a book tells then you’re wrong! I, however, choose not to believe that, instead I choose to believe that the original intentions of these great men over time who came to this earth to spread a message of love and togetherness is what’s most importance, not the part where I’m judged for not doing what a book says and believing what other men want me to believe.  I look at texts and think about them in the terms of how can this apply to my life and how can I use what I’m reading to better understand who I am and consequently, better the lives of those around me.  I’ve learned to trust my experiences as guiding pages from a yet unfinished book to remind me how to treat people, and to teach me how to be a good person so that others may have a different yet equal light to guide their path.  I’m not promoting here to give up on what you’ve been taught or what works for you, I’m only promoting the idea of finding out what it is that genuinely speaks to you as truth.

The truth about life, the way I see it is as follows: We are all here on this earth for one real purpose, and that purpose is to experience all that life has to offer and to connect with as many individuals as possible.  By doing so you’ll realize that our opportunities are endless and that we are all of the same essence; we may all appear separate but we’re all on an equal journey to the same place… a journey to unity with the source from which we came.  If we all set out from the same place to travel around the world and then back to where we started, we would all choose different paths to get back, but we would all arrive where we started eventually.  Just because I choose to travel by air and you by sea doesn’t make my journey any better than yours… so you see, in life like in our choices we’re seemingly separate but yet equal in our finished product. 

The secret to the meaning of life is found right here; we are all the body of the creator, we are all experiencing what we see as different lives but what from a different angle is seen as the unity of the whole.  It may appear as if we’re apart but guess what, we’re not.  Every day we have people affect us in a myriad of ways and every day we affect those around us whether we know them or not, in equal and yet opposite ways.  If I run into you in the street and give you a dirty look, it could ruin your day or it could make you feel pity on me and cause you to show more love to the next passer bye, either way my existence was directly related to you having the choice as to how you’ll greet the next person.  Our meeting in the street wasn’t by happenstance, it was in order to give you the ability to experience who you are and who I am and who God is in the space in between. 

We are all here on this earth living out our lives so that everyone else on earth can be doing the very same thing; we are the body for the Creator’s experience of who the Creator is.  We have the choice as a collective body of people to live in a state of unity and togetherness or to continue to believe we’re completely separate and an anomaly within the grand scheme of the universe.  The choice, like grace, is ours to realize or take for granted.

We can do amazing things if we choose to; if we choose to smile when we pass each other, if we choose not to promote war and famine, or if we decide to help a stranger in need as opposed to look the other way etc.  We alone have the choice to be who we want to be and the choice to make our life the life we want it to be, this is the very essence of the rest of this blog.  Choice is the meat of my writing here, and if we can understand that life is a choice then we can begin to understand that what has happened to us in our past can be seen as an opportunity and not a curse.

I plan on sharing with you the experiences of my life and why I believe they happened.  Hopefully by me sharing it can help someone better understand why their life has had to be the way it is.

I’ll be introducing you to a hand full of people who were part of my life and that taught me lessons along the way, which at the time I may not have picked up on but as an adult I can be thankful for.  Were it not for the men you’ll read about in these pages I would not be the person I am today, and if I was not the man I am today I would not be writing this book, and possibly someone out there would not benefit from my story. 

You see, we’re all connected whether we realize it or not, for my experiences will soon become your experiences, within these pages you’ll hear me do my best to explain the life I’ve lived, and from reading these pages you’ll be better equipped to understand that you have the power to open your eyes and achieve the success you desire, and that you have the love needed to be the change in the world you so desperately deserve.

My goal for this blog, my deepest wish for the reader, is that he or she upon finishing will be able to love themselves more and understand that it’s their choice how to move on with their life.  I want you, the reader, to be at a place of understanding that we’re all in this thing called life together, and that hope for a better life really is a choice left up for us to make or to not make. 

Please open your hearts and minds to the pages that will follow as I have opened mine for the words that will fill them.